Did you ever miss your stop because of that backwards route?

That "nobody mentioned these costs" part got me, because the same thing happened to us when we sold a rental property, except the buyer flaked and we lost the survey money anyway. It feels like the title companies treat cash buyers like they know everything, but honestly most of us are just regular people trying to unload a house. Real estate folks get REAL comfortable with surprise fees when they think you won't push back.

wait, have you tried warming them up before eating? i was stuck on the vinegar punch too until i nuked a pickled egg for like 10 seconds and the whole flavor changed, it got this weird savory depth that made the cold ones taste like battery acid to me now. took me way longer than 3 tries though, i think i was on attempt 6 before i figured out the temperature thing. also, the creamy texture you mentioned, that really kicks in when they sit longer in the brine, like the protein breaks down or something. anyways, next time you hit a weird food, try messing with the temp before you give up on it.

Brother owes you a new desk.

Gotta say, the smell of cinnamon rolls covering up bad decisions is probably the most accurate thing I've read all week. I once tripped over my own feet walking into a job site and took out a whole stack of tiles, and my boss just shook his head like I was the biggest hazard in the building. Honestly, that kid's story is way cooler than my "I fell into a pile of grout bags" moment, which my family still brings up every Thanksgiving. At least he gets to say he survived a hot oil bath, I just get to say I have terrible balance. Some people are born for epic tales, the rest of us just learn to laugh at our own clumsiness lol.