My attempts just launch springs into orbit.

It's basically a tax on being forgetful, and they designed it that way on purpose. Makes you miss the days when you had to mail in a check to pay for stuff.

Yeah, I read somewhere that wearing your bulkiest items onboard cuts down on bag fees.

Yeah, that "keeps the peace" thing. I used to think having a spot for stuff like that was kind of silly, but it really does stop the small stuff from turning into a big fight. Makes things easier somehow.

John Travolta chewing scenery for two hours straight is comedy GOLD. It's so over-the-top that it becomes this weirdly comforting background noise. @elizabeth220 gets it, comfort media doesn't have to be high art.