That viral post about "always say yes" is really bad advice for most people

I saw this thread on another forum yesterday where someone was bragging about how saying yes to everything changed their life, how they took every opportunity that came their way for a whole year. And honestly, I think that's just a fast track to burnout for regular folks with jobs and responsibilities. I tried something similar for about 3 months back in 2022 and ended up double-booked on three separate weekends, helping a buddy move boxes when I should have been grading papers for my 7th period class. Not to mention I agreed to lead a committee I had zero interest in, just because someone asked. Saying no lets me actually do a good job on the stuff I'm already committed to. Has anyone else had a bad experience trying to be a "yes person"?

2 comments

2 Comments

james_butler10d ago

Doesn't that whole "always say yes" thing kind of assume you have unlimited time and energy? Like, it's one thing if you're a single person with no real obligations, but for the rest of us with jobs, families, and existing commitments it's just not realistic. I've seen people try that and they end up half-doing everything, running late to everything, and looking exhausted all the time. Nobody gets the best version of you when you're spread that thin. The real trick is learning to say no to the okay stuff so you have room for the great stuff that actually matters to you.

robert_roberts9d ago

Yeah, I gotta disagree with james_butler on that "unlimited time and energy" bit. I mean sure, you can't say yes to everything, but the whole point of that viral advice isn't about becoming a robot who agrees to every single request. It's about getting out of your comfort zone and not talking yourself out of things before you even try. I've seen way more people miss out on cool stuff because they said no without thinking, than people who got burned out from saying yes too much. Maybe the trick is not learning to say no better, but learning to figure out which yeses are actually worth your time.