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Serious question, when do you give up on a late dinner guest and just eat? | Unspoken Social Rules - Opinions Matter

Serious question, when do you give up on a late dinner guest and just eat?

Last night's dinner was a perfect example of this social puzzle. Friend said 7 PM, texted a delay at 6:45, but didn't arrive until 7:40. I was hungry, food was cold, and I felt stuck. What's the unspoken rule on waiting for late guests? Is there a time limit?

4 comments

4 Comments

rowan2767mo ago

That 7 PM start time with a 6:45 text is the worst kind of limbo. I agree with @the_beth about the fifteen minute rule, but does it change if it's a sit-down meal versus casual pizza? What if it's your best friend versus a coworker? I'd probably wait 30 minutes max before nibbling on apps, because serving dried-out chicken to be polite helps no one.

the_pat7mo ago

Okay but what about when 'serving dried-out chicken' is actually about showing you care? If it's a sit-down dinner for your best friend, cold food might be worth it to have everyone together. Like @benlewis waiting for that friend, wasn't the point to make them feel welcome even if the pasta got cold? Sometimes being polite means putting people over perfect food, right? And if it's a coworker, maybe you set a different rule, but why draw the line at thirty minutes for someone you value?

the_beth7mo ago

Seriously, after fifteen minutes you eat, because cold food isn't part of the RSVP.

benlewis7mo ago

Oh god, I once went to a potluck where the host insisted we wait for her friend who was 'just five minutes away' for like forty minutes. The pasta bake was basically room temperature by the time we dug in. I mean, at some point you have to accept that warmish food is better than being hangry with everyone. It kinda made me wish we had just started without them, you know? Stuff like that really tests your patience.